Sunday, May 08, 2005

I finally found a use for those pennies building up in the panel on the door in my car.

Yesterday, I arrived at a traffic jam at the route 3 exit on the Garden State Parkway. The cars ahead of me moved at a crawl when they moved at all. As I was waiting to move along, some mongoloid in a truck drove up on the grass and cut off a car about three ahead of where I was. I really hate that. I don't care when people speed, go too slow, or change lanes like a crack head, but those fuckers that can't wait in line should be shot. This is what I thought as I approached the exit. The mongoloid pulled into the first parking lot on route 3 presumably to find some way to bypass the traffic on the highway. A dead end caused him to turn back toward the highway, ending up directly behind me.

He couldn't even rush right! I took a minute to block him from passing on the right toward the next exit on grove st and rolled down both windows. I slowly gave him enough room to pass, and as he sped by, I nailed him with a handful of pennies from the panel on my door. He sped ahead and suddenly jammed on his brakes to a stop. When I reached him, he shouted, "Did you throw something at me, Motherfucker?!!!!" I replied, "They were pennies to show you what it pays to drive like an asshole." This enraged him enough to throw his cell phone at my car. I threw a second handful of my two cents and then some, this time hitting him (as his window was rolled down.), and running over his phone. He squeels, "YOU MOTHER FUCKER!!!!!" and pulls his truck in front of my car to block my path (nearly hitting me) and steps out of the truck. He walked around behind my car and I pulled around his truck. He jumps back in his monglomobile and chases after me, nearly hitting other cars in the process. I boxed him off the road, forcing him to take the first exit to valley road. I waited a moment at the mouth to the second exit until I saw him come up the hill to re-join highway traffic. I flipped him off and laughed an evil laugh as I proceeded down the hill.

That was satisfying.
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Blogger Danielle said...

I'll have to keep that in mind for the spare change lying around my car.

7:45 PM  
Blogger TaraG said...

Thats fucking great! I love it!!!!! What kind of an ass throws his own cell phone out his window? Oh, one that thinks he's more important than all the other people sitting in traffic.

2:58 PM  
Blogger Toni said...

I think I love you.

That was brilliant.

12:15 AM  

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