Brick Town... City of LIGHTS!!!

I pass this sign everyday...
I have yet to see a kid come flying over the fence out into the street. Public works will put up a sign for ANYTHING these days. They should be sued for false advertising.

Speaking of the public works in my town, I am bewildered by their fascination with useless traffic lights. They put them up EVERYWHERE!!! There's a couple which aren't even at intersections... It's like driving around in a Dadaist obstacle course. If you have ever driven in a major city with ACTUAL traffic, you really have to wonder why someone would go through the trouble of manufacturing traffic by creating bottlenecks at every fucking corner. And then you'll remember that you're driving through the great American suburban nightmare... Where the world should be nothing but a giant strip mall with people living and working in it. The whole god-fucked economy and glamorous lifestyle may very well collapse without people stopping at these retail traps to buy various types of shit. What better way to get people to stop than to force them?? I'd be willing to bet that there's a correlation between the growth of e-commerce and the spread of traffic lights in this town. The more people who don't leave their house means that someone else has to be lured into buying something that they don't need. Hell, the only shortcuts in town are through the parking-lots of these very same shit-traps.

These assholes need to take it up a notch. The whole conspiracy... it lacks VISION! Picture BRICKTOPOLIS::
Knock all the houses, cut down all the trees, pave EVERYTHING in blacktop. Build three MEGA buildings in the center of town... One for shopping and working, one for living and one for parking! Why stop with just one town???!!! Pave the whole fucking state. New Jersey would be like a gigantic pachinko board with various concentrated towers amidst a sea of hardened tar!!! It would be fucking AWESOME! Or even if it's not too much different than what we have now, at least you'd be able to drive somewhere without stopping for stupid reasons!