Wednesday, August 30, 2006

Reading is a better judge of character than writing

I disagree that words alone are quite as powerful as some describe. Words serve as a utility in which to convey an idea. People often find offense with opinions which differ from their own, and sometimes might be shocked at an idea which they would have never thought of before. However, the power to have any effect at all is entirely generated by the readers own reaction and how the idea may inspire them. Words alone are generally quite useless. Posting a sign in the middle of the woods which reads "Fcuk Trees!" will not bother the trees (not even the typo). Your computer doesn't care when you type in most manner of gibberish. Even when you use commands to tell it what to do, it may act on them or rebel, but there's never any real passion in it. It's a matter of turning things on and off and the computer doesn't have a reaction because it has no will of its own. People on the other hand, may elect to allow themselves to be influenced by what they read. Some people are even influenced by the clouds in the sky, or by fire, or by the colored voices in their own mind. But the ideas always happen internally, words themselves are only guides. It's real easy to get the wrong idea depending on the ambiguity of the statement. And ironically, the more cleverly ambiguous the closer you are to the range of language Shakespeare could wield.

Speaking strictly of reacting merely to the format ones words take. seems like a bureaucratic and non-thoughtful way to disregard ideas. There is often great poetry in stupidity. What you read is not primarily about the words someone wiped on a page, but much more importantly the ideas that they are able to generate in your mind. Cave paintings may seem like crude drawings made by dumb humans, but when viewed with someone with imagination they come alive into a story about civilization long before history. If one looks at a page and is only able to think stupid thoughts, it is truly the reader who is lacking.
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Monday, August 28, 2006

Just Another Tuesday Sketch

As promised, by unpopular demand is this Tuesday's Sketch.


I call it Cuntjunktivitus in honor of my eye/sinus infection.
Any Guesses as to if he's pulling it out or sticking it in?
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Tuesday, August 22, 2006

The Tuesday Sketch

I misunderstood a blog post from someone else about the sketches they were going to post on Tuesdays. But since that's not what they were actually doing, I'm going to go right ahead and rip off the concept...since in a way it was my misunderstanding that made it anyway. Feel free to join me.

I'm going to try to post a random new sketch every Tuesday until i get sick of it, forget to or both. Enjoy!


PS. If the world really does end today, this will be the very last Tuesday sketch. So, please don't send me any email complaints.
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Monday, August 21, 2006

The 5 Day Weather Report Neglected this...

Just so everyone has the heads up... There's a higher chance of the world ending in a giant fireball this Tuesday, August 22, 2006. So remember to wear your tin foil hat, gas mask, lead umbrella, and galoshes. Get ready to greet Imam when he comes out of the sky to say hello. If I don't see you all tomorrow, maybe I'll see you all in hell!

This has been your weather report.

PS... Here, Here, Here and Here.

Smoke 'em if you got 'em!
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Wednesday, August 16, 2006

The End of Voodoo Heathen Font Practices

I posted about the woes of a reliable font management solution, in the past. I need to amend my guide on this subject. Last night I was working on a project when Suitcase™ decided to take a shit on me. The replacement backup fontvault solution just wasn't going to resuscitate the beast. I needed to get my work done and didn't have the luxury of time to perform the archaic voodoo arts of font juggling, pruning and general modern primatism involved with getting Suitcase™ to work properly when starting from scratch. If you ever find yourself in a similar predicament you should do as follows:

  1. Send Rattle out for lots of booze. If either Rattle is unavailable and/or the liquor stores are closed, make sure to blame Rattle for all broken technology anyway. It might not be (totally) true, but he SO enjoys hearing this.

  2. Prepare to dump all your fonts in to Fontbook. Yes, I know after struggling with the standard font solutions offered by most OS's turning to this one is a bit like renouncing your voodoo heritage in favor of the christian god (even IF its made by Apple), but you realize your options are currently limited. Start drinking and call your girlfriend if she's around.

  3. Stare in drunken amazement as Fontbook. actually handles thousands of fonts passably without having to preform human sacrifice. You may have to adjust to the inconvenience of not relying on auto-activation, but moments like this show how Suitcase™ really shines in the convenience department. Also, it'll take some getting used to your computer starting up without Suitcase™ taking a fucking lifetime to load.

In other news, I cleaned out my coffee mug at work today... It's been awhile. Some of the plastic has been eaten away by the caustic solution of what passes for coffee I drink every morning. I'm not sure if this means I need a new mug, or that I need to cut back on coffee... What do you think?
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Friday, August 11, 2006

How fear of breast implants can destroy what the west stands for.

A friend of mine had mentioned to me the other day that Hooters has an airline. It caused me to wonder about how such an airline might affect the likely hood of a terrorist attack and what sort of reaction this might have. Last night me and this same friend watched the 1986 version of "Stagecoach" and it immediately became clear how breast bombs could destroy the west.

American politicians often pride themselves with self-righteous fervor about how we fellow Americans need to protect our precious liberties from those who "hate freedom." "Stagecoach" fits into this paradigm. A stagecoach who's driver and passengers refuse to allow their fears ofGeronimo and his Apache brethren deter their pursuit of happiness by plowing right through hostile territory illustrate just how far America's romantic idea of itself separates from reality. There were no cavity searches on this stage coach... In fact, most of the passengers were armed. Hell, they didn't even search the banker who they knew had a stolen bag of cash because property and privacy rights used to mean something and had a value higher than life. This movie shows an America that faces fears rather than cowering away from them. Bin Laden and his 40 Al Queda do something much worse than simply kill people, they ruin the liberties which have been paid for a thousand times over in blood because Americans believe in the fake safety politicians sell them on. Wake up America! There is no safe place. We build places like six flags to simulate the thrill of it all, but the real excitement of life exists in realizing that we live on a living hostile rock spinning around the sun to inevitable destruction. Eventually everyone will be spun the hell off. The meaning of life is the slow process in which the universe ultimately rejects humanity and the conflict humanity has to hang onto the railing and not get blown off. The time has come to stop being afraid and to yell "GERONIMO!" and jump right on that plane.

Ironically, the day after me and my friend were discussing the Hooters senario, this fiasco in Britain happens. We were joking that a potential terrorist could fill a breast implant with an explosive jelly or maybe even a solution of silicone gel and thermite to ignite the fuel tanks. It put the mental picture in my head of a jihadist jumping out of his seat at the opportune moment yelling something like "ALAH AKBAR!!!!" and grabbing the nipple piercing of a stewardess and pulling them out like a pair of grenades. Yes... The breast bomb. Apparently, they are now not allowing liquids as carry ons on planes... to quote some random IRC person " Excuse me, officer, but I have it on good authority that the man who just boarded the plane is composed of almost 70% liquid!" What a stupid petty thing to do to increase the fake safety of airports. If you really believe someone can't come up with a way to blow up a plane despite all these obnoxious and invasive procedures in place, you might also be partial to solving health issues with leeches.

What has America come to these days when all the cowboys are either gay or like George W. Bush, the leader of todays brighter yellow America? Doesn't America realize that the most hateful threat to freedom which exists is blatant cowardice? The people who feel this way deserve to let go of the railing and fly off into the great oblivion. Only those who hold tight and exercise their freedoms really show that they deserve them. Which do you think is a more likely occurrence... being hit in a terrorist attack, or being violated by your over zealous government because they're cowards? I feel about as threatened by terrorists as I am being struck by lightning. Authorities are everywhere and they don't so much as even need a reason to effectively destroy your life by whim. We empower these types of people because we are afraid of the boogey man. To quote a line in stage coach: "We're going to decide this by majority rule."..."What does that mean?" "It means if 2 out of 3 people decide to die, the third gets to die with them." Damn right! The bastard would deserve it. Unfortunately, the people in todays America aren't as brave as they used to be, so they will likely no longer be as free.
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