Vomit Culture

Memorize, regurgitate, and copy. At the most critical point in brain development, this is what we instill. The first thing you're taught in most educational systems is subjugation. Kids should talk back if we expect a culture that is capable of critical thought. Instead, the grade school/high school systems are geared to make two things - Reliable worker bees AND - Soldiers.

There can be only one truth to anything and the answer is on a test somewhere. You only need one book/opinion for any given subject. Teachers can do no wrong and MUST be respected. You will be shown what is good and you will like it, or be punished. Stay in line. You eat when you're told to eat, not when you're hungry. In middle school we'll give you a choice between A and B, so long as you agree not to imagine C. We'll trust you to go where you're told too, since following in those lines trained you so well. In High School, you can pick your classes, so long as you fill our requirements as we know what you need. Play sports...support sports... go to the pep rally, OR ELSE. You're school is the best school, if you ever had any doubt you had better not say so out loud. Carry out your assignments exactly as ordered. Pay attention to how things work and find your place in the system, or there is no place for you in this world.

If you can do all this... maybe, just maybe, we'll let you watch TV.

Ever wonder why we cant elect a competent president? Why our media and discourse offer mostly usless entertaining tidbits? Ever wonder why people can't decide things for themselves? Why are most popular Movies, Music and art vapid formulaic crap? Why don't people feel in control of the things that matter? Why are so many under the impression that what they say doesn't matter and that any crisis will be taken care of by those that are in the position to do so?

Markets build our culture world. The less thoughtful and discriminating the market, the bigger it is. The bigger the markets grow the more our cultural DNA shrinks. Our culture becomes increasingly about the shit that it is fed, not about making better menus. The more shit we eat the less we are able to taste. The more people grown to eat shit, the less the need to put anything else on the menu.

Are you one of the ones who put shit on the menu for the rest of us?

The Virginia Tech Shootings Were Preventable.

I hate the types of BS correlations which are drawn in cases like this. Guns didn't make this guy kill people, writing dumb plays didn't do it, and neither did his foul language, way of dressing, video games, or religion. The simple fact is that he was crazy. Did any of these things make him crazy? Fuck no, these were the things he liked. Generally, its the things someone doesn't like that dives them nuts. Should we politicize craziness? Why not?

What made him crazy? I know a lot of crazy people. Some of them go crazy when they're too alone... while others go crazy when they're around too many people. Some of them go crazy while driving in traffic, while some people are afraid to drive. Others go crazy when they haven't had enough medication, or had too much. Some people go crazy when picture frames are slightly to the left, while others may insist nothing should go to the right. Some believe that they are in the morally righteous no matter what they do, while others might believe that they are not allowed to do anything because everyone is against them.

What can we outlaw to stop crazy people? Hmmm... Let's make everything white. Infact, let's make everyone wear blindfolds so they are not disturbed by their environment. Why not just lock everyone in their rooms as well, removing any sharp objects. People don't need all the stress they have, so no one should really work... well some. We need two sections of society, the authority and the people. The authority is never crazy. If the people would just shut up, and listen to the authority, they wouldn't need to be crazy either. This will make society sane. Shootings like this will never happen again.

Evidence of Creationism from the Perspective of an Athiest.

I do this mostly because it's absurd, but might make for fun conversation.

The human isn't a perfect thing and it's grasp on the reality around it is apparently severely flawed. So it's a safe assumption to presume that people are not capable of completely perceiving the world around them. These imperfections create differences in what everyone considers "real" and "true" sometimes to the point where they are not reconcilable within our limited brains. If someone were to construct a matrix-esque type reality (or if one were to grow spontaneously), and you were to enter it, the created realm would not be able to "project" the correct or intended truth of its reality into your mind. You would interpret this reality, and that interpretation would be the truth of it. Higher order outside of this might be guessed at, but it will never be real if it is never observed. Therefore truth is a creation and not an inherent natural standard. So the question of what is "real" based on what we can make of what we think might be a universe is entirely created by individuals themselves. Reality is created by people and changes at every moment. And people are broken.

Ash Holes on Ass Wednesday

This morning I stopped off for my usual morning coffee. An older gentleman stood directly in front of the coffee dispensers staring blankly. I waited the obligatory 5 seconds for him to spring into action, however he continued to stand there drooling. I muttered, "excuse me." which yielded no response so I attempted to squeeze my way in to the coffee.

"EXCUSE ME!" the old bastard exclaimed, "You should say Excuse Me! You shouldn't just shove, it's ignorant!"

I replied, "I did say excuse me."

To which he responded, "No you didn't!"

I looked up at him and took note of the dumbo sized hearing aid hanging out of his ear and decided not to say "What the hell? Are you deaf?". Instead I continued to get my coffee and dropped the issue. I grabbed a coffee sleeve which required no shoving, but they were in front of the man, so once again he was incensed.

"AGAIN! Say Excuse me!" He lectured.

"Why are you standing there?" I snapped.

"I.. I'm thinking about the coffee." he stammered.

"Well collect your thoughts OUT OF THE GODDAMNED WAY! You obviously don't know what the word ignorant means if you don't consider it rude to block people from getting their first cup of coffee in the morning while you contentedly drool at the dispensers. I did say excuse me, you should turn your sonar up so you can detect it next time. And wipe that shit off your forehead you look like an ASH!" I said hoping that the stereo system attached to his ear would make sense of "ASH!"

He just shut up. He had a look of fear on his face as if he was just realizing then that he was poking a stick at a crazy man. I shook my coffee at him threateningly which finally got him to step away from the coffee dispensers. How do people like that grow to be old?

When the Fish Men Come to Dance...

Last night, I woke up in the middle of the night to see two giants in fish suits dancing in front of the wardrobe in my bedroom. Obviously, like most people, my initial instinctual response was to jump into the air while yelling at the top of my lungs and tackle the beasts. While I was in mid leap, I remember thinking... "Damn..I NEED to start double checking my door locks before I go to sleep... I didn't even hear them come in!" In reality the fish people were merely some sort of bizarre hallucination, so instead I crashed into a full length mirror hanging on my wardrobe door and glass flew everywhere. I had a good laugh at my self generated late night entertainment. And to think I didn't even need to get drunk before I went to sleep. Perhaps they'll be back, I'll bet they'd make great sushi.

Piracy Merit Badge

The Boy-Scouts have begun a propaganda campaign brainwashing youth about copyright law. Kids who go through this process earn an "Anti-piracy merit Badge."

I decided Piracy Badges would be a much more cool thing to have. Support your local pirate by giving them a much earned badge for all their hard work. Visit the Cafepress store...

The Real World Just Isn't as Interesting as it Used to be...

People are going bug shit for the new Playstation 3.  Some are waiting in line for days (only to get kicked out), others are fighting, and still others are shooting each other with bb's.  Fuck the game system, these people should just riot in Best Buy every day!  It's a hell of a lot cheaper, and they can get their aggression out in a productive way.  These people should throw down their controllers and destroy Walmart's everywhere!  It's a good thing that crazy militia groups are mostly run by inbred mongoloids, because if they knew that revolution could be theirs if they had some Playstations to give away, they might actually be dangerous.  Think of how much money could be saved in elections if all that politicians had to promise was free Playstation give aways. 

I think that this is proof that it is not the video games which is corrupting the minds of citizens everywhere.... The problem is that we have too many stupid people in this country.   Imagine how many people would go to vote if those Diebold machines would randomly raffle off a Playstation in addition to (sort of) tracking votes? I think people would be more worried about their raffle ticket getting lost than their vote.  Diebold would never get away with their shitty machines,  People don't care about the issues of the real world anymore.  Why should they when we can make so many fake worlds they can control themselves?  Politicians are trying to ban all the good games just because they know that they just can't compete with that sort of interest. 

Milton Friedman Death Conspiracy...

Nobel prize winning supply-side economist Milton Friedman  has died, and suddenly CopyBot appears on SecondLife.  I think it's obvious to anyone with a brain that Friedman has obviously spoken with the soul acquisitioners  at LindenLabs to have his lifeforce transplanted into CopyBot when he died.  It's the most blatant example of this sort of conspiracy since the Pope killed Terri Schiavo. 

New Word.

Spychotic (spy-kot-ik) : Characterized or afflicted with irrational, malicious, intrusive behavior.
See also : Homeland Security.

Please use as opportunity arises.

Diebold | It's not broken... It's Fixed!

HBO's Hacking Democracy provides a good summary of how the US elections are now about fooling machines rather than fooling voters. I made T-shirts, magnets, hats, etc. HERE! Spread the word that not only does your vote not count, Diebold has made it so it might not even be counted!!

De-Plane - 10/11

The "Bronx Bombers" will mean something different from now on. Are the Yankees going to get thrown in Guantanamo Bay now? I wonder if Cory Lidel gets 72 virgins or if he has to be a Muslim for that. Where do these virgins come from anyway? Is there a factory in heaven? Are they the same 72 virgins that just make rounds among legions of suicide cases??? Who the hell wants to share the frigging virgins??? Are they babies or something? Do you have to raise them yourself? There seems to be a disparity in the statistics... Just what is the deal here??

The Return of the Tuesday Sketch

Hang this in the place where you do your creative work. As hardly anyone knows what the hell "Porlock" means, you will likely have an outlet for your artistic rage. It''s the greatest word since defenestrate.

Giant Bug Overlords Invade Germany??

Giant Insect overlords invade Germany??? I hope David Icke's 4th Dimensional Reptiles may save us from this calamity. See for yourself Here.

The Arby's Logo...

The Arby's Logo...

Just what the fuck is it?

On the one hand, it sorta resembles a hat... but not really. Maybe it's a mitten for someone who has whatever Lobsterboy had. What either of those two things has to do with roast beef, I have no idea... The first time I went to an Arby's, I was really in the mood for a hamburger... I was like "what do you mean you don't serve hamburgers... What the fuck do you do here then???" Instead they handed me a sandwich of flacid warm beef coated in a velveeta mush.

Perhaps the logo is the view of someone's throat as they gag when they're handed such a disgusting treat...


Or maybe, it's really a fish to further confound their customers:


Possibly it's some dude rocking out with his cock out. I know that some have this reaction to sweaty meat:


I know... It's some sorta allegory as to the roast beef being safer for you than the much more processed hamburger meat. The logo is an obvious condom, safety first!


They're opening up one of these shitholes near my house. Somehow, I don't think I'll ever bother eating there.

I've been diagnosed with TAPS... :(

Sounds Serious, eh?

For about as long as I can remember, I've always had a weird sleep issue. Well, it's not exactly a sleep issue but more of a waking up issue. Nothing seems to work. Alarm clocks, people calling me, yard noise, animal attacks... I quickly find myself developing a tolerance for whatever it is. My perception of time turns dyslectic. I look at the clock at 8:15 and think to myself "yeah...I got time..." and even at 9:15 when I'm 15 minutes late for work the clock still looks okay to me! "Hrmph.. Good..Still have a few minutes..." It's difficult to wake up when you don't stop dreaming until you're ready to drive. Does anyone else have this problem? I hope someday soon some doctors will officially label this problem as some type of medical disorder. It would be great to have a "syndrome" or an "itus" or maybe even an "osis". I think it would truly be an E-Ticket disease! Better than even Narcolepsy(damn napping bastards)! This problem is more an issue for other people than it is for me. I don't mind the extra rest. When I'm late, I'd like to have the shiny disease label that says... "Yeah asshole! I have a disease, leave me alone!" Possibly even my own handi-capable parking spot.

Why wait? Why not take Stephen Colbert's advice and make use of the 'Wiki-ality' available in todays culture. I'm considering making a wiki-pedia page which defines this for people who inconsiderately don't care. Any ideas on a name? I've seen Windows machines which sometimes do this when coming out of sleep mode... Maybe "Gates Syndrome" would work. It might give the disease some false legitimacy if they think Bill Gates has it. "Time Dyslexia" sounds like something that might be real... plus it has a nice Sci-Fi ring to it. Or "TAPS" (Torpid Alertness Progressive Somnia). Any ideas? Feel free to comment suggestions on other symptoms I should add. I really think this could be next years Hip disease!

This Tuesday's Shivered Timbers

Avast me hearty's. It be International Talk like a Pirate Day once again... Grab ye a lime and some grog and shove this weeks tuesday sketch down yer scurvy gullets. Try not to get ye horn pipes stuck up yer bung holes.

Arrrgh!!! and such.

Shots in the Dark

I went to QXT's last night. My friend Jess just split with her boyfriend and felt like going out. I got to practice taking pictures in the dark, which is actually much harder than drawing in the dark. I've never been on good terms with my flash... But then again I often feel like taking pictures when there's no light, bad light, and a lot of motion. These things don't mix well.

I ran into a couple more people from my college days who I haven't seen in years. This has been like a mini-reuinion week of sorts.

Who Taught You How to Do this Tuesday Sketch?

Yesterday, a friend sent me this link for "The Faces of Meth," which is a site that shows before and after pics of Meth Addicts. I just thought these were great. I wished there were more of them, but lacking this, I thought it was a great idea for this Tuesday's sketch. I picked friends who (hopefully) will find these amusing, but they were fun to make and I might make a second round of them at some point. If you'd like me to consider making you a Meth Face, just leave a comment saying so and instructions on where to find your face when I need it.


"Methstreams" Levay's Myspace


"Methodical" Mel's Myspace


"Methlab" Morelli's Myspace


"Tweaky" Bennett's Myspace

The Festivities(?!!) from this 9-11 Weekend...

The geek rating on my Flickr page went up a couple notches this weekend. There's a couple hundred new pics of Ren Faire followed by Wrestling. Sorry if the title of this post misled (pronounced "mie-zelled" for those of you not in the know) you into thinking that I was at some 9-11 barbecue. I wonder what the shelf life is on horrible events before they're treated like just any 'ol holiday. Isn't Memorial Day supposed to be somber? How many years before flash mobs go into the city to do tacky re-enactments of 9-11 by covering themselves in dust and running around screaming while people toss smoke bombs out of their windows? Will kids on this morning in the future celebrate a day off to one another by saying, "Happy September 11th!"? Well, anyway, I wasn't so much thinking of the ren faire and wrestling as a way to celebrate 9-11. In fact I barely thought about the event all weekend.

I've never been much of a wrestling fan, but Nikki is. I'll certainly agree that it's significantly more entertaining than watching Rattle wrestle Mexicans in the streets of Atlantic City in the middle of the night. And Nikki didn't have to worry about being a liability either.

We went to the Renaissance Faire in Tuxedo, NY which is a really nice area. I got to see a bunch of friends from college including a couple I hadn't seen in years. It was a fun tiring trip and much booze (including mead) was consumed and available all over the faire. I still need to color correct some of the pics, which I should get around to sometime this week.

The Tuesday Sketch that Seems like a Monday Sketch

I hope no one had to do labor this weekend..

Reading is a better judge of character than writing

I disagree that words alone are quite as powerful as some describe. Words serve as a utility in which to convey an idea. People often find offense with opinions which differ from their own, and sometimes might be shocked at an idea which they would have never thought of before. However, the power to have any effect at all is entirely generated by the readers own reaction and how the idea may inspire them. Words alone are generally quite useless. Posting a sign in the middle of the woods which reads "Fcuk Trees!" will not bother the trees (not even the typo). Your computer doesn't care when you type in most manner of gibberish. Even when you use commands to tell it what to do, it may act on them or rebel, but there's never any real passion in it. It's a matter of turning things on and off and the computer doesn't have a reaction because it has no will of its own. People on the other hand, may elect to allow themselves to be influenced by what they read. Some people are even influenced by the clouds in the sky, or by fire, or by the colored voices in their own mind. But the ideas always happen internally, words themselves are only guides. It's real easy to get the wrong idea depending on the ambiguity of the statement. And ironically, the more cleverly ambiguous the closer you are to the range of language Shakespeare could wield.

Speaking strictly of reacting merely to the format ones words take. seems like a bureaucratic and non-thoughtful way to disregard ideas. There is often great poetry in stupidity. What you read is not primarily about the words someone wiped on a page, but much more importantly the ideas that they are able to generate in your mind. Cave paintings may seem like crude drawings made by dumb humans, but when viewed with someone with imagination they come alive into a story about civilization long before history. If one looks at a page and is only able to think stupid thoughts, it is truly the reader who is lacking.

Just Another Tuesday Sketch

As promised, by unpopular demand is this Tuesday's Sketch.



I call it Cuntjunktivitus in honor of my eye/sinus infection.
Any Guesses as to if he's pulling it out or sticking it in?

The Tuesday Sketch

I misunderstood a blog post from someone else about the sketches they were going to post on Tuesdays. But since that's not what they were actually doing, I'm going to go right ahead and rip off the concept...since in a way it was my misunderstanding that made it anyway. Feel free to join me.

I'm going to try to post a random new sketch every Tuesday until i get sick of it, forget to or both. Enjoy!




PS. If the world really does end today, this will be the very last Tuesday sketch. So, please don't send me any email complaints.

The 5 Day Weather Report Neglected this...

Just so everyone has the heads up... There's a higher chance of the world ending in a giant fireball this Tuesday, August 22, 2006. So remember to wear your tin foil hat, gas mask, lead umbrella, and galoshes. Get ready to greet Imam when he comes out of the sky to say hello. If I don't see you all tomorrow, maybe I'll see you all in hell!

This has been your weather report.

PS... Here, Here, Here and Here.

Smoke 'em if you got 'em!

The End of Voodoo Heathen Font Practices

I posted about the woes of a reliable font management solution, in the past. I need to amend my guide on this subject. Last night I was working on a project when Suitcase™ decided to take a shit on me. The replacement backup fontvault solution just wasn't going to resuscitate the beast. I needed to get my work done and didn't have the luxury of time to perform the archaic voodoo arts of font juggling, pruning and general modern primatism involved with getting Suitcase™ to work properly when starting from scratch. If you ever find yourself in a similar predicament you should do as follows:

1. Send Rattle out for lots of booze. If either Rattle is unavailable and/or the liquor stores are closed, make sure to blame Rattle for all broken technology anyway. It might not be (totally) true, but he SO enjoys hearing this.

2. Prepare to dump all your fonts in to Fontbook. Yes, I know after struggling with the standard font solutions offered by most OS's turning to this one is a bit like renouncing your voodoo heritage in favor of the christian god (even IF its made by Apple), but you realize your options are currently limited. Start drinking and call your girlfriend if she's around.

3. Stare in drunken amazement as Fontbook. actually handles thousands of fonts passably without having to preform human sacrifice. You may have to adjust to the inconvenience of not relying on auto-activation, but moments like this show how Suitcase™ really shines in the convenience department. Also, it'll take some getting used to your computer starting up without Suitcase™ taking a fucking lifetime to load.

In other news, I cleaned out my coffee mug at work today... It's been awhile. Some of the plastic has been eaten away by the caustic solution of what passes for coffee I drink every morning. I'm not sure if this means I need a new mug, or that I need to cut back on coffee... What do you think?